The Pandemic and Cannabis: 4 Things I Learned
Insight for the consistent cannabis user. And skeptics.
Like so many others, I started using cannabis regularly at the start of lockdown. I had no idea how much it would change my life and how much I’d learn from it.
When it comes to substance use, humanity often turns towards over-indulgence or tries to eliminate it altogether. After all, in the words of the sex-obsessed St. Augustine, “Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.” The risk of danger that comes with substance use is why society urges caution around substances. Which I argue is very important, especially for young developing minds.
But as an adult, and one who found herself at home every day with space to fill, I began my cannabis journey. And I realized how much fear of substance use was instilled in me during childhood and especially adolescence. Not to mention, the generic social stigma around weed. (This country has a pretty complicated history of cannabis perception and regulation.)
Now, two years into this pandemic, I’ve developed my own personal perspective on cannabis use.
1. Turning off in the evening
Cannabis helps me press “end.”
I realized I can do more in the day when I know there is an end. While some use cannabis for productivity, I use it to wind down. Cannabis helps me press “end” around 7 pm each day. When I take a hit from my vape pen, it means I’m on the couch, done with responsibilities. No more puttering or needless worry. It can all wait until the next day. I surrender to the effects, like forcing my mind to turn off. In a gentle way. I know these things from the times I haven’t actively chosen to let go of the day while using cannabis. If I’m still focused on productivity, my high is not very enjoyable. I simply get more sluggish. It’s like trying to keep two mindsets at once: be productive, but relax. Which is doing something half-assed. And I hate half-assery. I want to focus on one thing at a time, to drop into sensations in the moment.
Something I’ve found helpful before enjoying intoxication is setting an intention.
Why do I want to be intoxicated?
What do I plan to do during this time?
What will help me relax?
Asking myself these questions beforehand often saves me from mindlessly “numbing out,” or over-exerting myself, which can make my intoxication experience sub-par.
2. Indica strains and carts
Unless I’m feeling energized already, an indica strain is my choice.
As someone prone to enough anxiety and high alertness, even without pandemic stress, I use indica strains, as opposed to sativa. Indicas promote relaxation, while sativas often energize. Unless I’m feeling energized already, an indica strain is my choice. Otherwise, sativa leaves me feeling jittery and on edge.
Out of the plethora of cannabis consumption methods (e.g., smoking, edibles, tinctures, dabbing), vape cartridges are my preference.
One, they’re cost effective, in that I only need a couple small hits to experience a pleasant evening.
Two, vaporizers are initially much more gentle on the lungs than smoke. I prefer vaping because I literally have a gag reflex just thinking about the after-taste of smoking or a bong rip. However, note that long-term effects of vaping are still being researched. Additionally, make sure to use high quality cartridges and vape pens from local dispensaries to decrease risk of lung damage.
Three, the lack of smell is ideal, as I am fairly sensitive to scent.
And four, vape pens are just so easy to use. No grinding of flower or packing bowls. Just press a button and inhale.
3. Trust yourself
When you choose to use from a place of clarity and confidence, others’ opinions lose legitimacy.
Sometimes, I still feel self-conscious admitting that I use frequently. Which I label as fear. Fear that others will think I’m irresponsible, avoiding feelings, relying too much on a substance, you name it. It’s a reality that others may view your cannabis use differently. They may be concerned. They may question you for using a substance. Perhaps their concerns come from good-hearted places, or even places of past trauma.
But that is their experience, not yours.
I’ve found when I start to have the “am-I-using-too-much” thoughts enter my head, I ask:
“Do I trust myself?”
“Am I worrying about others’ opinions of what I should be doing, or not doing?”
“Is this helping or hindering me?”
I have found that self-trust is huge when consuming substances. Simply hoping that you don’t “over-do it” at happy hour is a great example of lack of self-trust. In reality, you have agency over how much you consume and can set a limit before intoxication.
When you choose to use from a place of clarity and confidence, others’ opinions lose legitimacy.
4. A sober mind is a beautiful thing- and offers perspective
The state of your mind affects your high.
I didn’t realize how anxious I was until I took something that changed my state of mind. For one, I realized how much unnecessary worry took up mind-space. Once the THC hits my bloodstream, it almost “clears out” any petty gunk. There’s more room for the present moment.
Yet, on the other hand, when I am sober, I am able to feel things fully. If I am anxious or upset, I choose not to use cannabis until I can get back to somewhat of a baseline. Because one of the biggest truths I’ve learned from my cannabis use is that the state of your mind affects your high. Using a substance with the intention–whether conscious or unconscious–to numb or avoid difficult feelings is not going to erase discomfort. It will simply numb.
I noticed myself wanting to numb during the worst days of depression. And I did sometimes. But it took trial and error to realize that sitting with emotions and trying my best to work through them helped ease even a tiny load off.
Though, I do want to note, peace may not come even after sitting with emotions. And you just want relief from feeling. I’ve chosen relief countless times after intense crying and processing sessions with my partner, or practicing other coping mechanisms such as exercise. Cannabis beautifully nudges me into that forced surrender of a more peaceful state of mind, body and soul. To use a metaphor, you can ice and rest a strained muscle all you want, but many will choose to utilize ibuprofen for enhanced relief. Cannabis is my enhanced relief.
Whatever your relationship with cannabis may look like, remember to stay mindful of your use. Here’s to safe and pleasurable high times.
